There is nothing funny about people being sickened by going to a restaurant. However, it will be interesting if Taco Bell and Taco John’s listen to the laughs from late night.
‘Did you hear about this story? I guess nearly 30 people in New Jersey have been sickened by an E. coli outbreak that’s been traced to a Taco Bell restaurant. So today Taco Bell took action. They finally took the E. coli Taco off the menu.’
“A woman in Fort Wayne, Indiana is suing because she got shot in her car at a Taco Bell drive through restaurant. She said that Taco Bell should have done more to protect her from people. Hey, Taco Bell can’t even protect her from their own food. Bullets are the least of your problems at Taco Bell. Because of this E. coli outbreak, Taco Bell is going to have to make major changes in their sanitation procedures… Or, maybe just lower their price.”
"Taco Bell has had to close several restaurants because an outbreak of E. coli has made customers sick. As a result, Taco Bell is changing their slogan from ‘Think Outside the Bun’ to ‘Puke Outside the Store.’"
“A U.N. study has found that methane gas causes more global warming than man. Unless the man has ate at Taco Bell.”
“Something like 30 people have gotten E. coli from Taco Bell. Don’t you remember the good old days when at fast food chains you only had to worry about finding the occasional finger in your food?”
“Actually the Taco Bell in New Jersey has reopened as a cruise ship. They just opened it back up and pushed it out to sea.”
"By the way, Taco Bell has a new menu item: it is the ‘chili con coli’… Talk about thinking outside the bun. What? Look out."
“It was so beautiful today, Taco Bell customers were actually walking to the emergency room.”
Letterman’s Top Ten
10. "Are my affairs in order?"
9. "Why is the counter kid wearing a hazmat suit?"
8. "Will the hot sauce kill the bacteria?"
7. "Is this how they poisoned that Russian spy?"
6. "Do I really want to succumb to a taco-related death?"
5. "Should I go somewhere safer for lunch like Fallujah?"
4. "Will this help me meet the recommended E. coli daily requirement?"
3. (No number 3 — writer ate a bad chalupa)
2. "What would Kristie Alley do?"
1. "Wait – when was Taco Bell not tainted with E. coli?"
And likely the worst/best of them all – “Taco Bell Chalupa of Death”
And Web Videos – Taco Bell E. coli
And Google Fearcast – Video
A CNN report from today offers yet another review of late-night comedy about public health issues brought up during the latest E. coli outbreak traced to Taco Bell. You can find it here.