On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me – a gallon of raw milk with campylobacter;

On the second day of Christmas my true love sent to me – two potpies in a microwave;

On the third day of Christmas my true love sent to me – three bottles of melamine baby formula;

On the forth day of Christmas my true love sent to me – four jars of salmonella peanut butter;

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love sent to me – five cans bulging with botulism;

On the sixth day of Christmas my true love sent to me – six bags of E. coli spinach from Salinas;

On the seventh day of Christmas my true love sent to me – seven Canadian hams with listeria;

On the eights day of Christmas my true love sent to me – eight mercury poisoned tuna;

On the ninth day of Christmas my true love sent to me – nine pounds of Nebraska Beef hamburger;

On the tenth day of Christmas my true love sent to me – ten children dying;

On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love sent to me – eleven bureaucrats doing nothing:

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love sent to me – twelve lobbyists dancing.