LAWRENCE EMMETT MARLER JR. - 1929 - 2012
My father died last evening. I had the honor of being with him for the last days, hours, minutes and seconds of his long life. A former high school and college basketball star, Korean War veteran, college math teacher, gentleman farmer and fisherman - but never a “former” marine, my dad died on his own terms and with the same quiet dignity he lived his life.
I am not sure why I put Ernest Hemmingway’s short stories into my computer bag when I drove to spend the night with him on Thursday, but the Nick Adam’s stories always reminded me of the fishing lessons I struggled through with dad when I was a kid.
As dad now struggled during Thursday night and into Friday day and evening, I was reading him this part of “The Big Two-Hearted River:”
There was a long tug. Nick struck and the rod came alive and dangerous, bent double, the line tightening, coming out of water, tightening, all in a heavy, dangerous, steady pull. Nick felt the moment when the leader would break if the strain increased and let the line go.
The reel ratcheted into a mechanical shriek as the line went out in a rush. Too fast. Nick could not check it, the line rushing out, the reel note rising as the line ran out. With the core of the reel showing, his heart feeling stopped with the excitement, leaning back against the current that mounted icily his thighs, Nick thumbed the reel hard with his left hand. It was awkward getting his thumb inside the fly reel frame.
As he put on pressure the line tightened into sudden hardness and beyond the logs a huge trout went high out of water. As he jumped, Nick lowered the tip of the rod. But he felt, as he dropped the tip to ease the strain, the moment when the strain was too great, the hardness too tight. Of course, the leader had broken. There was no mistaking the feeling when all spring left the line and it became dry and hard. Then it went slack.
His mouth dry, his heart down, Nick reeled in. He had never seen so big a trout. There was a heaviness, a power not to be held, and then the bulk of him, as he jumped. He looked as broad as a salmon.
Nick's hand was shaky. He reeled in slowly. The thrill had been too much. He felt, vaguely, a little sick, as though it would be better to sit down.
The leader had broken where the hook was tied to it. Nick took it in his hand. He thought of the trout somewhere on the bottom, holding himself steady over the gravel, far down below the light, under the logs, with the hook in his jaw. Nick knew the trout's teeth would cut through the snell of the hook. The hook would imbed itself in his jaw. He'd bet the trout was angry. Anything that size would be angry. That was a trout. He had been solidly hooked. Solid as a rock. He felt like a rock, too, before he started off. By God, he was a big one. By God, he was the biggest one I ever heard of.
I stopped reading, looked up through tears, and my brother Don and I watched dad’s breath continue to slow until it just stopped.
We and mom, grandkids, great grandkids, family and friends will miss him.
Comments (41)
Read through and enter the discussion by using the form at the endsusie - January 14, 2012 9:31 PM
I'm sorry for your loss, your father must have been a great man.
Richard and Linda Rivera and our entire family - January 14, 2012 9:50 PM
We are so sorry for your loss.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your entire family!
God Bless you all and may your Dad rest in peace!
T. K. Crabb - January 14, 2012 10:52 PM
Dear Mr. Marler,
My deepest condolences for your loss. I feel your pain, because I too, recently lost my father on August 31, 2011. Your father raised a wonderful son, which tells me a lot about him as a man. I don't know you, but I "appreciate" your knowledge about food poisoning. You have educated so many reader's about food safety, that I am sure your father was very proud of you, like you are of him. When my father took his last breath, I was holding his hand, thanking him for the things he taught me, telling him that it was okay to go. I felt the warmth of his hand turn cold, while I watched him take his last breath. I know he is at peace, as I know your father is. One day, I hope that our paths will cross, so I can personally "thank you" for your blog.
Sincerely,
T. K. Crabb
Chuck - January 15, 2012 5:06 AM
Your wrote the perfect obituary. NYT would be envious; your dad would be proud.
Mary Hackett Graham - January 15, 2012 6:50 AM
This was lovely. And I really believe that no one is truly gone who has someone that remembers him. Please accept my condolences.
Art Davis - January 15, 2012 6:54 AM
Parents are special people in our lives and their departure leaves a place in our very core that cannot be filled. I hope that that place is for you one of pleasant memories of the events and experiences that the two of you shared over the years, especially the early years when you were busy becoming you.
My condolences, and best wishes for a good and prosperous new year.
Art
Paul Benson - January 15, 2012 6:54 AM
Bill - my sympathies to you and your family on the loss of your father. You will be in our prayers. Paul
Karen Jacobs - January 15, 2012 7:19 AM
I am so sorry to hear of the passing of your father. The greatest thing a child can do is be an outstanding living legacy. I am certain your father is very proud of you. You are in our prayers.
Chris - January 15, 2012 7:26 AM
I am so sorry for your loss Mr. Marler.
What a beautiful and thoughtful post and I am sure your father was happy to share the final end with you. There is nothing easy about a parent passing away......I am sure you father is looking down at you now, so proud of the son and man you are today!
God bless!
Susan Copenhaver - January 15, 2012 7:32 AM
What a loving tribute! I wil keep you and your family in my prayers.
Lawrence Bernstein - January 15, 2012 8:11 AM
Sorry for your loss Bill. Sounds like he was a wonderful father. He is a man after my own heart a fisherman. Fishing is one of my favorite passions, I think because you never know if you'll be pulling up a keeper or an old shoe, or the fish you only dream of, the one that stories are made of. I hope that you know that he knew you made a difference in people's lives. Take care, Larry Bernstein
Neal - January 15, 2012 8:51 AM
I am so sorry to hear of your loss.
Dennis Krause & Family - January 15, 2012 8:57 AM
Please accept our deepest sympathies to you and your family, Bill, on the loss of your father. Our thoughts and prayers are with you at this time.
Mrs. Mudder - January 15, 2012 8:59 AM
Bill, you have served your honor to your Dad! Prayers to your family!
God Bless!
Mrs. Mudder
Scott Becker - January 15, 2012 9:56 AM
Bill, Please accept our sympathies to you and your family on your loss. Your dad sounds like a great man, who has a great family. How fortunate that you were able to spend time with him at the end.
Scott Becker
Roger Beeman - January 15, 2012 10:32 AM
I am very sorry to hear about your father's passing, it sounds like he was quite a man. I still miss my dad after 20 years. Peace be with you.
Sandra - January 15, 2012 11:00 AM
Cherish your memories. I understand what you are going through as I lost my mom a few months ago. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family
Kevin OKeefe - January 15, 2012 11:34 AM
I am sorry to hear of your loss Bill. I am sure your Dad was proud of what you're doing for people today and will be a source of encouragement and inspiration for years to come.
Terry Murphy - January 15, 2012 1:21 PM
Dear Bill...so sorry to hear about your Dad. What a bleesing to be there with him as he made his final exit. It must have been a great comfort to him. He raised a wonderful son. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Peter Hurley - January 15, 2012 1:22 PM
Bill, the Hurley family's thought, prayers and condolences go to you and your family.
cheryl berenson - January 15, 2012 5:13 PM
Sending my sincerest condolences to you and your family. You and your dad were so fortunate to be able to travel his last moments together.
Paul Nunes - January 15, 2012 5:41 PM
"In our family, there was no clear line between religion and fly fishing"-- the opening sentence of "A River Runs Through It." I lost my dad, a fly fisherman, several years ago. Your remembrance of your dad here was beautiful. Godspeed, Emmett.
Dena Murray Mulberg - January 15, 2012 6:49 PM
The journey of healing is traveled one step at a time. May
each day bring you and your family closer. My thoughts and prayers
are with you and your family.
Julie & Keith Berta - January 15, 2012 8:52 PM
Please accept our condolences on the passing of your father. We will keep your family in our thoughts and prayers.
Bridget Day - January 15, 2012 10:13 PM
My condolences on the loss of a man who you clearly loved deeply, how precious that you were able to be with him in the last moments of his life...
Bridget
Bill Marler - January 15, 2012 10:17 PM
Thanks for all the comments.
Bix - January 16, 2012 4:36 AM
I'm so sorry to hear. I hope you and your family are doing ok.
Katie Kent - January 16, 2012 4:39 AM
Dear Bill,
I'm so, so sorry to hear of your loss. I did not know your father personally, but always admired the loving supportive family he and your mother provided to you, Julie and your children. I am thinking of you.
Sincerely,
Katie
Gabrielle Meunier - January 16, 2012 8:17 AM
Dear Bill,
Sorry for your loss. Sounds like he was a great Dad and there is no doubt in my mind that you were a great son. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. --- Gabrielle
Dawn Grieves - January 16, 2012 12:43 PM
Bill,
So sorry for you loss. Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Dawn
Kathleen Buchanan - January 16, 2012 2:59 PM
Bill, Reading your words brought tears to my eyes and my heart is just breaking for you. You will never forget a moment of those last hours you shared with your father. The moments are painful, precious and spiritual in a way that nothing else ever was before but in time, we have to hope that the lifetime of love and joyful memories will come together to help us heal and appreciate the rare opportunity we shared by being with them as their lives ended.
You have spoken of your parents several times in our short friendship and I just know that he meant the world to you and you to him. I am so sorry for your family's loss. You have been such a comfort to so many for so long. Please feel our empathy and prayers as you go through these days.
Minkpuppy - January 16, 2012 7:38 PM
My deepest condolences for your loss. This was a wonderful, loving tribute to your father.
robert greene - January 16, 2012 9:12 PM
my condolences.
Melanie Harris - January 17, 2012 7:00 AM
I am very sorry for your loss. I am wishing you comfort during this time of sadness.
Theresa Kentner - January 17, 2012 2:20 PM
Sincere condolences on the loss of your father. May you be blessed with warm memories of him in the upcoming years. What is remembered, lives.
Paul F Schwarz - January 17, 2012 2:22 PM
Bill, On behalf of the Paul A Schwarz family I would like to express my condolences to you and your family. We not only lost our fathers but our friends as well. Paul
Bill Marler - January 17, 2012 4:39 PM
Folks asked were they could send donations:
Olympic College Bremerton Campus
College Service Center, Fifth Floor
1600 Chester Avenue
Bremerton, WA 98337
P: (360) 475-7120
F: (360) 475-7125
e-mail: foundation@olympic.edu
Director of Philanthropy
Hospice of Kitsap County
P.O. Box 3416
Silverdale, WA 98383
(360) 698-4611
wendy.rohrbacher@hospicekc.org
Donna Lloyd - January 18, 2012 9:09 AM
Your story was very touching. Our sincerest condolences.
Keith Drinkwalter - January 19, 2012 6:08 PM
My Mom, brothers and families are praying for you, your father and family. I know how hard it is to lose your father and time will help heal the hurt. I hope to meet you at some point and relay my condolonces in person. Until then, I am sorry for your loss and hope that you are able to work through the pain.
Amanda Rose - January 20, 2012 10:43 PM
I'm sorry for your loss, Bill. We should all be lucky enough to have family with us as your father did.
Amanda
Pastor Denis Huelle - January 30, 2012 8:42 AM
Thank you for mailing your recent blog to me. I'm glad I got to meet with you and your Dad and to pray with you. If you ever want to talk about your loss or to just talk about things that come to mind, I have a good ear and I'm a good listener. Remember the hope of the resurrection that is ours in Jesus Christ; and as you look back at the memories of your Dad, look forward too.
God's blessings to you. You and your family remain in my prayers.
Pastor Huelle